this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
