did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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