We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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