I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
