hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We need a shit load of segways right now
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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