I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
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He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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