she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize