He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not