I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
