I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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