I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
