And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
