even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
