OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Damn victory sex feels great
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I enjoy the company of your penis
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