why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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