I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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