Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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