Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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