lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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