i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
