Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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