i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
