We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
