new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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