hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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