fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize