So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
