it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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