somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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