There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Who died my cat blue again?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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