For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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