Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
as a side note pls kill me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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