just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
