Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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