Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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