Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
