Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
