Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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