New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
