She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize