I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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