It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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