Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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