in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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