and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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