it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
