So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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