I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
