But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
