Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
