so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
