Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
