She is in my trunk
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
