dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
