god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
