I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
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He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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